Monday, August 13, 2012

long distance lovin'

In case you missed it.. Last week, I was part of a series about long distance relationships on Just Bri.
When I heard about Bri's Long Distance Lovin' series, I knew I had to be a part of it. This is what I posted as my part of Bri's series:

I think my story is kind of unique because I have lived through both the good and the bad (and the ugly) of long distance relationships (for the sake of repetition, let's call this an LD relationship). I've been through more than one serious LD relationship. (It just kind of happened that way. You can't choose who you fall in love with, right?) My last LD relationship lead to marriage and I could not be happier! :) 
I know every relationship is different, but I can tell you what did and didn't work for me. There are 4 things that I think make or break a LD relationship. As you know, I'm a list person, so here we go! 

1. Communicate. This is obviously so important in any relationship but especially in a LD one. LD relationships don't have the luxury of being physically there with each other all the time. So tell each other about your day. Tell your partner about that coffee shop down the street that you love and that new girl at the office who is totally driving you crazy. That way when you guys are together, it's more real. You'll walk down the street with him and he will say "Hey, that's that coffee shop you like, right?" and you'll smile because it's like he's been there all along.
2. Trust. Trust and communication. They go hand in hand. In a failed LD relationship that I had, we had little communication. Sure we talked on the phone a lot but he never really mentioned his life. I didn't know about the little things like his favorite thing to eat for breakfast or who was in that group that he went to the movies with. It lead to problems. A lot of them. If that girl wasn't a big deal then why didn't he ever mention her before? Is he seeing her? If I didn't know about her, does she know about me? Yes, I did turn into one of those psycho girlfriends, but I had good reason. He actually was cheating on me. More than once. And in 4 years, I never knew. This is the ugly part that I mentioned earlier. Let's not go too much into that though. The point is that I should have known from the beginning that our lack of communication meant that I couldn't trust him. Without trust, there's nothing.
3. Be normal. What I mean by this is just because you are in a LD relationship, doesn't mean you have to miss out on everything that "normal" relationships have. Set up Skype dates. Watch a movie together (just play the move at the same time). Eat the same dinner. The possibilities are endless! Before Jared and I got married and moved in together, we had date nights via Skype all the time. Sometimes we even played drinking games which always turned out to be pretty hilarious. Get creative!
4. Stay positive. If you don't believe that it will work, then it won't. You have to stay positive for each other. I always had a really hard time with this especially because of my previous relationships. Thank God I was with someone who lifted me up and stayed strong enough for the both of us.

There are obviously a ton of things that factor into making a relationship work, but I really think that these are the basics to make a long distance one work. You can read more about my long distance journey with Jared and how we ended up deciding to tie the knot here. I can honestly say that our marriage was worth the wait.


I tried to keep this short and sweet but if you want to talk more, I'd love to get to know you!
To view the rest of the series, visit Just Bri!

Bri: Thank you so much for including me! xx

Photobucket

21 comments:

Niken said...

you're right about all of that. telling small things do make them feel more real when we meet.

Pettit Mom said...

cute:-)

Sarah said...

All great tips! My husband and I spent 2ish years long distance and it sucked. Communication is key, we talked on the phone every day and had lots of webcam dates!!

Lauren Kassira said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
EMMA said...

Hi! I am Emma! I love your blog... I hope you will check out mine. http://emmavogelsang.blogspot.com/ . It is called Living Fully by Faith .


Em

LaurenLo{me}LoloLC said...

LDR have been on my mind a lot in the last few months...having been through one in the past and juggling the idea of wanting to be in one with someone right now...this was a good read, thanks for sharing!!

Lauren

http://meandmybeautifulmess.blogspot.com/

Joanna said...

I'm in a long distance relationship and it has made us stronger! I see him over the summer and on some weekends. You are so right about trust and communication. We trust each other completely and I know I have nothing to worry about when I'm gone. I'm his one and only and he's mine. We've been together now almost 3 years!

Tami Rebekah said...

Ahh love your blog!! Soo cute. Found you on the Pinterest blog hop!! Following you! Hope you feel free to follow back! Ill be back for more!

Carrie {My Favorite Finds} said...

Such a great post! You and Jared seem so happy together

THE mom said...

Staying positive I think is key! of course trust but being positive will make you trust more!
I'm your newest follower from the GFC blog hop :-)

Nicole
http://theboyslockerroom.blogspot.com

Amy Powell said...

I like the "be normal" piece of advice. Long distance relationship or not... that one is SUPER important! thanks for sharing :)

Have a lovely evening <3 Amy @ Interpret As You May

{I have a celebratory giveaway going on now. Would love for you to enter! amyreneonline.com}

Julie Marie said...

obviously i have a heard of kids and am not single. but i loved reading this anyways... its fun to pretend.. lol

co wendy said...

Intelligence cooperation is not the all-round cooperation between the three Christian Louboutin Daffodile countries, the situation does not involve areas uggs outlet such as North ugg boots Korea, focused on discount nike jordans the nuclear and Discount LV Handbags missile issues. From now on, the three parties have some common interests and discount christian louboutin needs.The alliance between the US and South Korea, the United ugg australia States deployed in the Korean peninsula nearly Cheap LV Handbags 30,000 troops, but the US military in combat HanJun unified command, so cooperation between them is not christian louboutin remise 50% a problem. Such an intelligence memorandum of cooperation, its main role is to adjust the relationship between the cheap nike jordan shoes Republic of Christian Louboutin Bois Dore Korea ugg with Japan. Bags Louis Vuitton In cheap christian louboutin which the christian louboutin United States plays a leading role ugg soldes in promoting it, because they are benefiting uggs on sale the christian louboutin shoes Japanese side, so happy to see.From South Korea is concerned, because his presence in Discount Louis Vuitton Japan with a variety of problems, including disputes reefs, so cooperation between the two cheap jordans countries on certain obstacles. The Cheap Louis Vuitton Handbags dominant wholesale jordan shoes under US, Japan has actively promoted, so to some extent, Air Jordan 11 Gamma Blue is ugg pas cher reluctantly Korea.

Guo Guo said...

yao20150319
ray ban sunglasses uk
coach outlet
cheap oakley sunglasses
hollister clothing
fitflops
hollister uk
tods outlet
cheap ray ban sunglasses
kate spade uk
cheap jordans
louboutin shoes
pandora jewelry 
cheap nfl jerseys
fitflop
adidas outlet
lululemon outlet
beats by dre
kobe 9 elite
marc jacobs outlet
kate spade handbags
toms shoes
prada outlet
tods shoes
air jordan shoes
kate spade outlet
louis vuitton outlet
abercrombie
abercrombie and fitch
thomas sabo
tory burch outlet
kate spade handbags
christian louboutin
longchamp outlet
new balance shoes
soccer jerseys

achang said...

supra sneakers
moncler outlet
prada shoes
nike free uk
bottega veneta handbags
nike outlet
cheap soccer jerseys
gucci outlet online
chanel outlet,chanel handbags,chanel bags,chanel outlet,chanel 2.55
north face jackets
chanel outlet
chris paul jersey
raiders jerseys
stuart weitzman boots
chiefs jersey
rolex watches,swiss watch,replica watches,rolex watches for sale,replica watches uk,rolex watches replica,rolex watches for sales
new york knicks jersey
nike free,nike free run,free running,free run,nike running
nike running shoes
chanel outlet
hermes outlet online
green bay packers jerseys
evening dresses outlet
nike roshe
camisetas futbol baratas
seahawks jersey
knicks jersey
air max 90
fivefingers shoes
mizuno running
a chang 0624

Zheng junxai5 said...

2015-07-20 zhengjx
hollister kids clothing
nike blazer low pas cher
air max uk
oakley sunglasses outlet
ray ban outlet
burberry outlet
longchamp le pliage
gucci belt
burberry handbags
ed hardy uk clothing
christian louboutin shoes
coach factory outlet
gucci sito ufficiale
ed hardy outlet
chanel outlet
nike pas cher
prada outlet store
kate spade bags
coach outlet
michael kors uk outlet
kate spade outlet
replica watches for sale
polo ralph lauren uk
jordan shoes uk
michael kors
abercrombie and fitch
cheap air max
fitflops shoes
kate spade
burberry outlet online
true religion
ray ban sunglasses
michael kors watches
michael kors outlet online
air force pas cher
coach outlet online
ralph lauren sale
coach outlet
pandora jewelry sale
tory burch outlet online

Anonymous said...

2015-12-8 xiaozhengm
michael kors outlet
michael kors uk
michael kors outlet online
michael kors
adidas gazelle
air jordan pas cher
kate spade outlet
uggs outlet
hollister uk
louis vuitton handbags
louis vuitton outlet
nike air max
gucci outlet
nike uk
louis vuitton bags
kate spade outlet
michael kors outlet online
tommy hilfiger outlet
sac longchamp
ed hardy outlet
jordan 8
ugg boots
christian louboutin outlet
ghd straighteners
toms outlet
adidas originals
abercrombie outlet
coach factory outlet
air max 95
mcm outlet
mont blanc pens
nike sb
canada goose outlet
christian louboutin outlet
louis vuitton
toms outlet store
sac longchamp
coach outlet
michael kors outlet

方松腾 said...

0108
soccer jerseys,cheap soccer jerseys,cheap soccer jerseys for sale,soccer jersey,usa soccer jersey,football jerseys
lebron 12
tiffany and co
ralph lauren polo
oakley outlet online
coach outlet online
basketball shoes
snow boots outlet
air jordan 13 free shipping
tory burch outlet
ugg boots
chanel handbags
uggs outlet
michael kors usa
canada goose sale
replica watches
michael kors uk outlet
canada goose outlet
futbol baratas
michael kors uk outlet

Qing Cai said...

fitflops clearance
oakley sunglasses sale
michael kors handbags
longchamp pliage
mulberry handbags
tory burch outlet
coach outlet store
polo ralph lauren
polo ralph lauren
oakley sunglasses
michael kors factory online
ghd hair straighteners
beats by dre
michael kors uk
tiffany jewelry
oakley sunglasses
coach handbags
nba jerseys
mulberry outlet
ray ban sunglasses
swarovski crystal
rolex watches
rolex watches
nike mercurial
louis vuitton outlet
hollister clothing store
discount oakley sunglasses
ralph lauren outlet
oakley sunglasses
designer handbags,handbags outlet,cheap handbags,purses and handbags,wholesale handbags,designer bags,bags outlet,handbags wholesale,cheap purses,discount handbags,handbags sale,wholesale purses,handbags and purses,designer purses
cai20160318

xumeiqing said...

20160531meiqing
nike air max
kobe shoes
ray ban outlet
true religion outlet
canada goose
discount nike shoes
kate spade outlet
cheap jordans
oakley sunglasses
kate spade handbags
pandora jewelry
omega watches
nfl jerseys wholesale
yeezy boost 350
polo outlet
gucci outlet
ray ban outlet
michael kors outlet
burberry outlet
oakley sunglasses
louis vuitton bags
burberry uk
christian louboutin shoes
coach outlet
ralph lauren outlet
cheap jordan shoes
bottega veneta handbags
reebok
polo outlet
coach outlet store online
north face jackets
louis vuitton borse
vans shoes
ralph lauren outlet
cheap jordans
tiffany and co
nike air max uk

Anonymous said...

michael kors factory outlet
cheap oakley sunglasses
michael kors handbags,michael kors handbags clearance,michael kors clearance
air jordan
michael kors outlet online
cheap oakley sunglasses
michael kors outlet online
kobe shoes
jordan shoes on sale
cheap basketball shoes
fitflops clearance
cheap air jordan
nike huarache sale
toms outlet
cheap jerseys from china
michael kors outlet
nfl jerseys
yeezy boost 350