Friday, October 26, 2012

that sh*t cray

I recently received an email from a fellow blogger who wanted to swap buttons with me. She changed her mind a few days later when she saw this post. She said that she has 2 young kids and that kind of language was not something she wanted to "support or promote" and that it was "out of her comfort zone". I'm not upset with her at all. I thanked her for her honesty and meant it. (BTW- I encourage all of you to check the "about" section on blogs that you are considering advertising with, as mine clearly states that I have a potty mouth.)

Anyway, this brought up a subject that I don't really understand. Why do some bloggers only choose to work with "family-friendly" blogs and businesses? What does MY language on MY blog have to do with YOUR children? Are your children reading my blog? If so, they shouldn't be. 

Do I have kids? No. But if I did, I am 99% sure that my language would not change except when I was in front them. And again, I don't think children are reading this blog. We are all adults here. I guess I have just never understood what the big deal is. 

I don't discriminate with advertising requests from other bloggers but maybe I should start being more selective...? Oh you blog about your baby? Nope, not for me. What you hate dogs?! Nope, can't work with you. 

It drives me crazy when people who "don't use curse words" say things like "F that" or "I hate that shizz" or "she's acting like a b word" (I could keep going..).. I mean if you are against using certain words, that's fine. But don't half-ass it. (oops I used the a-word)

There's obviously a time and place to speak certain ways. As I said here, I know when it's appropriate and when it's not and I think that's really all that matters.

Again, I'm not upset with anyone. I really do just want to know your opinions about this. I want to understand it. This is a take it or leave it kind of blog and if you can't take it, please don't be afraid to leave it.

Alright, I'm out this bitch! (sorry, I had to..)



Sara said...

Jessica, your blog, your choice. That's all I've got to say! If people have to be picky to the point where they're literally taking it down to a SINGLE word or FEW words... there's bigger issues at hand for those people. You're being YOU and that's all the world can ask for! Anything else... they can get outta here with that "shizz" (aka shit!). Just sayin' :)

Lauren Hochleutner said...

yup, i agree. your blog. your choice. i have a potty mouth and sometimes its not "lady like" but sometimes that is how i express myself. I try to cuss on my blog since i really cuss when i am angry and im not angry on my blog. but I am also not afraid to say bitch or ass. boom. just cussed on a comment.

Kristen @ KV Confessions said...

Wow - that's really lame. Sounds like someone's really comfortable on their high horse, and apparently never cursed before? seriously, wtf? People really need to relax.

Crissy said...

Loved this post! I honestly don't understand it unless your audience is children. Which for most blogs is not the case. it's your blog and you aren't even being inappropriate. No point in trying to censor yourself if that's what you do! If someone doesn't want to choose you over some curse words that (children likely say behind their parents back anyway) their loss!

I don't do it on my blog because it's not how I talk. Not that I'm saying I don't curse ever but it's usually for situations that went wrong hahaha!

I love it when people aren't afraid to be themselves!

Anonymous said...

haha people are ridiculous. That's ok someone unfollowed me and had to let me know that it was because of my sexual preference. Yet my constant cursing didn't turn off her religious self.... oooooh well! :) To each their own <3

Anonymous said...

Hooooooooooooooooooooooooow FUUUUUUUUUUUUCKING stupid! You know.. SAME thing happened to me not to long ago... This girl and I exchanged buttons (on PF ads) and like 2 days later, I noticed that she deleted my spot AND unfollowed me! I kindly emailed her and asked her why... she responded with "im sorry, but you have such a filthy mouth and I can't represent a blog like yours"... BUT get this! She thought she was going to leave her button up on my blog! HA dumb fucking BITCH! I deleted that shit right away!!

Girl, this is your blog. Do with it as you please! Which brings me to my next awesome ass confession!! You know how I do designs and what not? Well, I just did some designs for a PORN SITE yesterday! Yup! I sho did!!!

Yuri said...

Lol.. girl this made me laugh a little.. your soooo right!!! I just started my blog, and I have yet to be fully set up, I think I should get to that and let people know I talk alot of shit! lol... I mean I do try to use other words when possible, but sometimes I just have too! Your so right, its your blog, your choice of words, and there shold be nothing wrong with that. I love the part where you said, that your blog has nothing to do with their kids..

Anyway, love your blog!

Nicole said...

Jessica, this post both amused and befuddled me. My confusion is mostly due to the fact that the offended chose not to partner over pictures; not something you said (wrote). Also, those sweaters are meant to be cheeky & snarky. Now I'm rambling...

I'm impressed that you chose to blog about the incident as well as state your opinions. So often bloggers get caught up in the "followers game." I appreciate that you stated your beliefs and told the story regardless of who it might offend or who might stop reading. Blogging for yourself is what it's first and foremost about.

As for avoiding certain blogs or brands due to content, I am all for it. To me, you should know a brand and a blog before you swap or partner with them, and you should know if it's a good fit for both you and your readers. I would imagine someone would only want to swap with me if they knew my regular content. Not simply stumbling to my blog and seeing that I had adverstising spots available then jumping on it.

Welp, this turned into quite the rant. Bottom line: go girl.

Jane said...

Preach it! I don't get it either. It seems silly. I might not want my button a on blog that supports a return of nazi Germany but umm not wanting to because of a picture of a slutty cop costume shirt? That is just silly.

Anonymous said...

I completely agree. Your blog, your rules. I curse a lot too but I reign it in depending on who I'm with. But on my own blog? Fuck that.

Sabz said...


Mrs.Day said...

You know my 4 year old, 6 year old, 8 year old and my 12 twelve year old read your fucking blog and they see you saying crazy shit instead of reading shit made for them. I cant believe you dont watch what my kids are reading, what kind of person are you??? grrr


Baylee said...

I agree. I fucking love to swear!

Bella Mosqueda said...

FUCKING EPIC! Love this jessica! Props to ya!

Jennifer said...

That is definitely strange. It's not like kids are reading it and if you let them on the net, put parental controls DUMBASS!

Lisa said...

I will proudly post your button on my blog. Send it over dear!!


Kim @ said...

Just gonna agree with everyone else. I admit I'm guilty of saying. What the f, f that, what a b, etc b it's not bc I'm offended by language More than that I'm lazy! Lol!!

Also I think it's pretty crazy hat if she's picky with who she swaps ads with that she didn't read more about you before she wanted to switch!

Thanks for sharing!

Melissa Boo said...

Ugh! I hate when people say sh*t. or F*ck...etc. And then they say they don't cuss. just did, leaving out a letter doesn't change the word you are just means you don't know how to spell.

I think the only time I don't swap ads with someone is when it's a blog I can't see myself following/reading.

Kristin said...

I see it as: your blog, your thoughts. If you're thinking it, but don't want to type it, are you not typing it because of how you'll be perceived or because you're a family-friendly non-swearing blog?
I rarely swear on my blog (though my mood lately has caused me to), but that's honestly because I know my mom reads it. And I don't care who you are: You don't swear in front of your mother.

I think those shirts are hilarious and I'd totally wear one.

To an adults-only party of course. :)

Cody Doll said...

I love this post. I think that you are right about everything. I see you as you. I also don't think that kids should be reading blogs, if they can even read. Usually kids that can read all by themselves usually aren't kids anymore. Just saying. Anyways, thanks for sharing who you are. Don't change.


AndreaBai @ Glam Hungry Mom said...

I love this post! Someone emailed me to say they were unsubscribing because they were only interested in recipes, and not in makeup. Makeup was superficial to them. blog, and I write what I want.

Obviously I fucking LOVE your blog so much. fuck shit balls damn cunt bitch.


Tarole said...

Jessica everyone is right, your blog, your language! If she doesn't want to read your blog fine, she's obviously someone you wouldn't hang out with anyway! Just be yourself, that is what everyone loves you for :) Xoxo

Reese said...

Whoa, I'm going to need you to take my button down ASAP! My daughter could somehow log into my account and stumble across a post written by you that is just littered with curse words. In fact, I think it's your fault that all children curse. Because obviously despite the fact that there are numerous ways for children to soak up undesirable behavior, they are all somehow finding their way to your site. So that little three year old that dropped the "F-bomb" in Wal-Mart earlier today. All your fault. Just sayin'...

Seriously though, your blog, your choice. Personally I'm not much for cursing, but I would never try to push my choices on other people. Or drop an advertiser because of it. There's this funny little thing called the first amendment, and it sort of frowns upon that. Keep being you. Your readers love you for it :)


Adriana Madrigal said...

Haha. Awesome post! I honestly believe that if it's your blog, you get to do whatever you want with it. Cuss, don't cuss. As long as it represents who you are and what you like, GO FOR IT. If someone doesn't like it, then they can make their blog. ;)

xo, Adriana.

Brandi said...

I don't understand why someone would choose not to follow/etc. due to language! It's YOUR blog, so you should be able to be yourself and use whatever language you want. How you speak/write is part of what makes you who you are - what would be the point if you were always having to censor yourself?
(I can never tell if I'm a no-reply blogger or not. :/)

Chloe said...

I love my sailor mouth. And I love other people who aren't afraid to say fuck. Whatever. People are too damn picky.

Anonymous said...

I really like this post. I'm not one to curse often but I'm sure not against it and wouldn't not swap with you because of it. It's your blog and you can do what you want. What I most enjoyed about this post was your honesty. You didn't hold back and you told us exactly how you feel! That's what blogging is all about! Thanks for sharing!

Rachel @lifeasMrs said...

I have a potty mouth too and write like it, wanna swap? ;)

Whitney@SomethingBroughtYouHere said...

It is the REAL you, which I think makes your blog great. :)

Saimaeve said...

I've not started to do a lot sponsor work, yet.

But it never really struck me to not sponsor a blog that used adult language simply because I have a child.

I do blog a lot about my child, but at the same time it's my blog. I discuss lots of different things and my language may very well be much more profane than anything

If I was to sponsor a blog, it would be a blog that I already read often so that if there is content I find questionable I would be aware of that blogger's posting style. If I don't want to support adult language, why would I want to read it anyway?

Perhaps this person was more looking for promotion instead of supporting other bloggers. Because obviously, she's not been a reader for very long

I do know that you occasionally use some colorful language, but I've never really focused on it because it's not a huge part of who you are. Your blog isn't profane. Any profanity you use, isn't used to BE profane or inappropriate it is simply word usage.

Don't change! I like how you don't hold back

Tanvi said...

I am with you on this. I use cuss words, but like you said there is time and place for everything. Blog is not for kids and its your own personal place and anyone who is offended by it should not be reading it anyways! (:

∞ © ∞

Kait said...

I loved this post--and it's especially why I like your blog. You're real. You don't sugarcoat. Well, that and you're absolutely gorgeous and entertaining!
Have a great weekend!

Helene said...

AGREED! this is my space to say what I want. if i want to throw a little "shit" here and there you don;t have to be here!! said...

wow...that sucks. I use "shit, damn, asshole". I steer clear of the f-word thou...funny story I heard it from a friend when I was like 8 or so...I repeated it to my dad...twice ( he asked what i said so I had to repeat myself) and bam (slap across the mouth)! my parents are traditional spanish parents who don't use swear words. My dad told me he never wanted me to say that word ever again and I was grounded. So now I am 29 and I still have a bad memory with the f-word, where I only use it in the privacy of my car when cursing out other drivers or if i'm really, really mad. Sorry this is long...point is my friends, husband, sister and (haha the irony)my dad all have potty mouths and I'm used to it. I wouldn't stop reading your blog because of that. It makes me laugh and smile too much!!

Amy @ Not Your Average Baby Blog said...

THANK YOU for posting this. I've been getting annoyed over similar things. I've seen a few bloggers write basically that they don't want to "grow their blog" anymore because they don't want people following them who aren't like-minded. I guess they're trying to come from a good place, but----shouldn't we WELCOME different opinions/thoughts/beliefs?? That's what helps us learn from each other/understand others, etc...I could go on, but I don't want to leave you a novel, so I'll stop : ) Have a good weekend! And I hope you are rocking one of those UO tees!

Jennifer Leigh said...

First off, let me say kuddos to you for standing up for yourself & keeping your blog true to you.

Next up, I know exactly how you feel. I actually used to sell radio ad time back in the day on a radio station that once housed Howard Stern and was a format that was basically a bunch of guys like him all day long. A lot of people wouldn't buy ad space because they had a negative connotation about him and that type of content. I had to constantly remind advertisers that the audience is listening because they enjoyed that type of content, so they shouldn't worry about any negativity. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. You win some, you lose some.

Nikkiana said...

I'm a pretty foul mouthed blogger... Heck, I've even posted photos of myself nearly naked on my blog... and while I've always sort of been concerned about the backlash, I've never gotten any. I guess I'm lucky like that. I say, do what you makes you feel comfortable and if someone decides to drop you because of it... Eh.. that's their problem. Be true to you and don't try to please others... The people whom think you're great will find you irregardless.

Carly @ Texas Lovebirds said...

Agree that when it's your blog, it's your space. You're entitled to the right of saying whatever you want.

Just thought I'd speak to as why I only advertise with bloggers similar to me. We actually talked about this at a blogging conference I just attended. For me, at least, it's definitely not a judgement thing. I won't not advertise with you because you cuss or you don't have babies, I just try to advertise with similar blogs. I figure if people are reading a blog about fitness and healthy eating, and if I advertise on that blog, they're less likely to click and follow me if I almost never talk about those things. Does that make sense? Hope so!

Sounds like someone decided not to advertise with you because of personal reasons, which is justified. But for me, I strategically consider who to sponsor because I want my money to draw me more readers and follows.

Karie Holman said...

Love this and makes me think why do I block out what I really want to say on my blog! You are so right!! I did it because of my grandpa dropping in and reading. But screw that biatches! I am going to write what I want.

You go girly!!!

Michelle said...

I am not one to use cuss words on a typical day, but don't ask my husband and kids if I do when I am upset- if I cuss?! lol....But my opinion-your blog, your words, to each his/her own! I love your blog chica! Especially when you are supporting our lovely Texans!

If Youve Seen My Mind...Id Love It Back said...

In the beginning, I found myself censoring certain posts ("maybe I shouldn't talk about birth control", "my son had a fake martini with his James Bond costume...I really don't want angry comments", etc). The fact is, my blog is my sanctuary. My free therapy. Do I want people to read it? Yes! Do I want it to be authentic? Double yes! My blog won't be for everyone, and I can't write it for anyone but me. Like minded people will enjoy it. Besides, isn't that who we want reading our blogs? People who share some of the same qualities? Kudos for passing up the opportunity to conform.

eliz said...

You didn't really swear in your post...the tshirt did most of the swearing..hahaha. I actually don't have a potty mouth at all...but I have potty fingers...being a teacher I trained myself to not say swear words...but I still type them or text them hahaha

Kristin O'Leary said...

It sounds like this person is not like, "I don't want my kids reading your profane words," but more like, "I don't use those words and do not wish to promote it if I'm trying to set an example for my children." I deal with a lot of those parents and I'm somewhat similar. I try not to do anything behind closed doors that I do not wish my child to do. That's like being two faced, right? Showing your kid how to act one way, then when they're not around you do whatever you want. We have to set an example for our children when they're in eye sight and out of. Just sayin...I understand that.
But then again...this is a blog world. I cannot stop YOU from saying what you will say. I can be an adult about it and know that other adults do use profane words and might not always believe what I believe. That would not cause me to not switch ads either.
It sounds a bit extreme.
Personally I only use profanity when I'm pissed. It just slips out like I use it on a daily basis. WHOOPSY! And I surely don't use it in writing. I'm somewhat of a English/Writing Nazi and just don't find profanity ever fits with what I'm writing. It's just not me.
But that's why you do you and I do me.
And you're right.
If I don't like it, then I can leave.
Which is why I did not look at your post with the T-shirts (just saw it in my reader and decided it wasn't for me). Some of your posts I look at, some I choose not to because it doesn't appeal to me. Isn't that how it works with the rest of the blogger world?? A recipe one day, blah. A fashion redo another...maybe I like that.

Juliette said...

It happend to me too.
First day i was super upset, second day i was kind of worried and third day was "oh, well,This is MY blog after all. I write for me. If i gain followers along the way it's amazing but don't forget who you writing for in the first place."

So take it or leave it, is the best policy.

Sarah said...

haha, that's too funny. I totally agree, leaving out something, or referring to it, but not actually saying it is the same thing! I personally love your blog and your honesty, and your profanity, and I actually laughed out loud at the post in question. And if her children are reading her blog or anyones blog for that matter, I think she has something more to think about.

Ley said...

I am completely on your side Jess!

I recently sent someone an email about swapping, and she sent me one back rejecting me. Totally fair, I suppose, but her reason left a thorn in my side: I don't have a "clear vision" for my blog, and that made her uncomfortable. Apparently I'm only supposed to write about one topic, and one topic only?

People like that frustrate me, but in the end I'm glad that she didn't accept. Now I don't need to feel pressured to promote her or link to her just because I have her button on my sidebar.

Rachel said...

I don't swear, ever, and I'm also against the 'replacement swearing'--like you said, I believe in going all the way. And it's just me. I know me and I know it wouldn't feel natural or normal for me to curse. But it doesn't mean I won't be friends with people who curse. If that were true, I'd have to keep a much more limited acquaintance than I do.

riana. said...

LOL i totally agree!! i have a potty mouth as well but i do try to refrain my use of it online..just cause...:)

Anonymous said...

Wow! I'm so glad I found your blog through BlogLovin and saw this post! I love it! It made me realize that potty mouth of yours is exactly why I'd WANT to follow you! Looking forward to reading your future posts!


Julie Ann said...

Jessica, this is awesome! You have the balls to SAY what others only THINK. I'm going to link to this post in my blog post tomorrow. xo JA

Fiona said...

Well you just gained a follower due to that potty mouth of yours!

Ginger Mandy said...

What! I would laugh so hard if someone said that to me. I guess it's good that I have a swear word right on my front-page introduction... no need to make anyone wait to find out I fucking love swearing :)

Nicole said...

In the beginning of starting my blog, I thought about whether I would use curse words or not. I decided that it's MY blog, where I write about things I WANT TO WRITE about and I use curse words in real life. So online, it's going to be no different.
Now, no one wants to read a blog post completely littered with curse words, because it's not cute, but cursing every now and then helps make your point. And you are definitely right - we're all adults here. No kids are reading our blogs and even if they were, what's the big deal? You can't shield them from LIFE, where people use curse words. It's up the parent to teach their child that there are curse words, people use them, and children do not. Period.

So keep on keepin on girl. Cuz I love your potty mouth! Keep it 100!

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